You know what your problem is?

'The problem is: You think you have time...'
-Jack Kornfield
 
When I quit my corporate career in back in 2016, it actually wasn't to launch my coaching business. 
Not because I didn't want to be a coach... I'd been training to coach and daydreaming about coaching and wishing it was possible for me for about 14yrs by then. 
 
I just didn't know it was an option, because I hadn't deprogrammed the specific Survival Meaning that was crushing that dream. 
 
So why did I quit, then?
 
Because I was already in my 30s, and I hadn't ticked a single thing off my (real) bucket list.
 
Sure I'd done a few fun things in my time - backpacked around various parts of the world, worked hilarious jobs, flown a stunt plane, yada yada yada...
But the REAL bucket list? That had the big stuff on it.
 
Publish a novel.
Travel the world with no budget and no time restraints.
Live in a ski resort so I could snowboard every day.
Be my own boss.
Stop hating and bullying myself.
 
All stuff I didn't believe was possible, and had no idea how to do, but was terrified of dying without achieving. 
 
My theory at the time was 'You can't get to a happy destination on an unhappy journey', so even if I lost everything in the pursuit, it was still a better outcome than guaranteeing failure by staying in a job I hated, in a country I didn't want to be in, slowly growing tumours from the stress of my awful choices.
 
So the real reason I finally leapt was because I didn't perceive any other way out. 
I reasoned: 'If I spend all my savings doing things I actually love, maybe my health and focus will improve to the point where I can find a way to survive that doesn't make me sick.'
 
Pretty low standard, hey. 
 
True story: the day after I quit I saw an ad for a writer's retreat in Bali. They promised military-grade support to ensure you completed the first draft of your novel in under a month. It cost a third of everything I had to my name to be there, but everything in my body screamed 'this is the next step.'
 
I panicked, I asked everyone I could find's permission (and some were seriously against it), I negotiated, I paced, I talked myself in and out of it, I lay awake at night over it. I was nauseated by it. 
 
But I did it. And you know what that retreat got me?
 
A completed novel.
A phenomenal mentor.
My deepest bullets extracted.
A successful coaching business.
A view into a world I never realized existed.
Ongoing support.
Incredible friends. 
Once in a lifetime experiences.
And I lost a fight with a monkey.
 
Worth it? 
 
YOU FUCKING BET.
 
(Even the fight - the money only got away with my water bottle and the bite didn't get infected.)
 
So here's the point.
 
You might live to be a hundred. 
Or this year might be your last.
 
I don't know. You don't know. Nobody knows.
 
So what's on your REAL bucket list?
What will you be so goddamn gutted you missed out on if you are outta time?
What dreams have you suppressed, written off, given up on, let go of, that if you're honest - are still a splinter in your brain?
 
Because it's all possible. 
It was always possible.
You just got distracted by your autopilot taking you through a series of familiar life-tasks.
 
You know we can change the programming, right?
You know none of your traits or habits or other coping mechanisms are permanent, right?
You know the science doesn't even support the concept of 'personality'... RIGHT?
 
If you only remember one thing from this piece of writing, let it be this:
Just because you don't currently know how to do it, doesn't mean it can't be done.
 
It can all be done, and if you want 1-1 support to do it, apply for coaching with me via sarahreillycoaching.com.
 
Forever in your corner,
Sarah :) xoxo
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