Sarah Reilly

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THE coach for breaking the limits of your current reality.

I've been in the hospital.
 
***
 
So I missed a pattern this past week. For those of you that have experienced coaching - you'll know what I mean. 
A piece of childhood coding that was in a blindspot, steered me towards an undesirable outcome this week so that I could truly feel the impact of my old beliefs and finally release yet another that was holding me back.
 
A week ago, I came up in full body inflammation. Swelling, itching... I looked like I had severe chemical burns. The lumps, swelling and redness were migrating around my body by the hour, causing strange patterns, bruising, and limiting my mobility. 
I didn't think much of it because that was my reality for most of last year, until I realised I had quite a severe gluten allergy.
I assumed some of my food had been contaminated, popped an antihistamine and carried on with my work week.
 
But it didn't let up.
 
By Friday morning my occipital lymph nodes were so swollen I could barely turn my head. Parts of me were turning purple. I was being woken every morning at 4am on the dot with my skin on FIRE. 
Anywhere pressure was placed immediately swelled into hard lumps - some of the oedema was easily 2 inches deep. 
My housemate was practically apoplectic with rage at my blasé attitude - she had been hospitalised as a teen with the same thing because apparently it leads to anaphylactic shock. She almost died... And I wouldn't even take an hour to go to the GP.
 
'It's just shock' I laughed - my coaching business was super profitable last year and tax time is here. 'I'm just reeling from how much I'll be sending to the govt. in a few weeks.'
 
Writing this now... I am almost speechless at how cavalier I was with my health last week. 
 
I finally went to a GP yesterday morning, who unsurprisingly, sent me immediately to the emergency dept. at the hospital with a referral letter for an immunologist and a cortisone shot. (Incidentally, I received neither and am still in pain, but that's another story and not the point of this post.)
 
While I was in the waiting room, nursing a bruised arm from a comically bad multiple-attempt canula-insertion, my subconscious threw up an unpleasant memory. (Coding appears regularly now, because I've been doing my deprogramming work for so long.)
 
It was a picture of me, face down in the foetal position on the lounge room floor. I was 13, and I was literally screaming in pain. I had (probably - it was never treated) salmonella poisoning. I was unable to walk for 3 weeks and had likely been crawling to the bathroom when the pain hit. 
In between screams I could hear my mother and grandmother standing over me, discussing what to do.
 
"It might be a blockage."
"She probably needs an ambulance."
"Yeah but it's $75 now."
"Let's just see what happens."
 
I learned something important in that moment. 
 
Sarah doesn't get treatment. Sarah doesn't warrant help. Sarah isn't cared for.
 
Many of these things I already knew... But in that moment, screaming into the carpet in the worst pain of my life... Those truths were burned into my hollow, shaking little body.
 
They went in so securely, that the following year, when I split a bone so badly another bone slid down inside the vertical break, when I was told I wouldn't be taken to the hospital, I didn't even question it. I just strapped my hand up and carried on. 
I was eventually taken to a Dr, because I couldn't do most of my chores. He took out a protractor and measured the angle - "You have a 40 degree bend in this finger!" He exclaimed, and sent me straight for emergency surgery. On the way to the hospital, Grandad said it 'probably wasn't even broken' and that I was 'being a wuss'.
 
And last week, when my body was screaming in pain, what did I do? 
 
I followed the rules.
 
I laughed it off. I dismissed the idea of assistance. I kept working. I made jokes about using my hairbrush to reach hard-to-itch-while-still-in-bed areas, like the backs of my knees. 
 
This is why I say to clients:
"The problem isn't that you had a bad parent... The problem is that you ARE a bad parent."
 
It's not what they did to you then, that's messing up your life. It's the fact that you're copying them. 
You're abiding by the same rules. You're following the same protocol.
You're acting as though the way they did it, is the way it IS. 
 
When that coding was revealed to me in the waiting room I wanted to cry, but it seemed inappropriate given the level of suffering around me. So I just sat, watery-eyed, and stared into space until they called my name. 
I cried this morning though. I cried for the little girl who was left screaming on the floor.. and for the adult that I still, sometimes, leave screaming on the floor. 
 
But I made myself a promise, too.
 
That piece of coding is done now. 
 
Next time I need a Dr, I will fucking get one. 
 
And I hope the next time you need something, you fucking get it, too.
 
 
All my love,
Sarah
Do you know what the number one key to relationship success is?
 
Partner selection.
 
I know - anticlimactic, huh... Bet you were hoping it was some digital dealy you could buy online and maybe stick to the face of whoever you're currently dating...
 
But it's not. It's all in who you choose.
 
If you choose someone with misaligned values, or someone that is a trauma-bond rather than a soul-mate... you're going to have issues.
 
Similar situation with coaches.
 
I'm not a good match for most people, because I'm what's known as an 'amp'.
I can 'blow up' whatever will work to a level you've never seen or heard of before...
 
BUT...
 
Anything unstable, unsustainable or toxic won't survive the energy.
 
Shitty friendships don't survive my coaching containers.
Toxic relationships don't survive my coaching containers.
Old programming doesn't survive my coaching containers. 
Out of date coding doesn't survive my coaching containers.
Trauma bonds don't survive my coaching containers.
Inaccurate, limiting beliefs don't survive my coaching containers.
 
As many of you know, I rent space in a wellness centre in Sydney's inner west, so I have plenty of foot traffic past my office door. 
People see the sign that lists my services and frequently stop me to ask what words like 'subconscious reprogramming', and 'strategic intervention' mean.
 
Yesterday a lady in the waiting room told me she was afraid to do her deep work because she expected a lot of the people in her life wouldn't like the real her. She believed that if she processed and released the coping mechanisms that kept her tied to the current frequency, then she would be alone. 
 
I said to her - 'I can't promise any of your relationships would survive coaching, because I don't know how many of them are trauma-bonds, and how many are just you settling for what you think you can get, rather than what you are actually capable of receiving... But what I can tell you is that if you're not ready for a totally new projected reality, I am not the coach you should hire.'
 
Unfortunately, a lot of people I know are still hiring (and dating) based on what they think they can get, rather than what they actually want. 
 
If you hire a coach that is within your current comfort zone (e.g. a price point that doesn't affect you, abilities that don't make you nervous etc), you've moved sideways, rather than up. 
You've hired within your *current* perceived identity, rather than the version of you that you're trying to create.
Given that your manifestations are the product of who you're being, moving from who you are currently will just produce more of the same.
 
Thus, if you want to create something bigger, newer, bolder... MORE...
You are going to have to move differently.
 
What big decisions are you being called to make this week?
And have your decisions of late been aligned with what you can see right now, or what you want to see....
 
 
Forever in your corner,
Sarah xo
 
The world is changing.
 
If you are someone who conflated your environment and the landmarks / components therein (e.g. your job, your home, your spouse, your routine) with your safety, this is no doubt a challenging time.
 
Societal structures are being corrected to include the rights and validity of all.. Not just straight, white people.
 
Unsustainable work structures are collapsing so that new, generative, wellbeing-focussed options can take their place.
 
My interactions today reminded me of a favourite zen proverb: 'Let go or be dragged.'
 
Ultimately, what is cruel, unsustainable, environmentally destructive and unjust will be worked out of the system, because it is all indicative of a lower level of consciousness.
 
As we learn and grow, as we move more pain out of the shadow and into the light, as we expose more of what is in our blindspots... We are confronted with how much of our world is not intention but coping mechanism. How much is not thriving, but strategy. How much is not love, but manipulation. How much is not perspective, but panic.
 
And it's all on its way out.
 
If you had confused any of those structures with the cornerstones of your safety... If you are holding onto the belief that your ability to understand and control your world is at the core of your survival... This shift is going to hurt.
 
But the answer is not to go backwards. The answer is not to reject progress. The answer is not to resist the change.
 
The answer is to remember who you are.
The answer is to take back the power you placed in your projections.
The answer is to expand the parameters of your thinking, your perceived identity, and the rules you created for a different time.
 
You can't relieve the pain by scrambling to exert control over the machine...
You can only disable the engine.
 
The pain is within you because the pain is coming from you.
 
If you're ready to see beyond it, I'll be taking more coaching clients from July.
Sarahreillycoaching.com to apply.
 
BELIEFS ONLY STAY BELIEFS IF YOU KEEP CHOOSING THEM.
 
 
I had to bring this truth bomb to a private coaching session the other day and it was so resonant I figured I'd repurpose it, with some context. So here ya go! 
 
How often does the idea of things being 'better' come to your mind?
 
Money flowing more easily
Professional relationships vibing higher
Personal connections being more rewarding
Your energy levels being more consistent
 
And how often do you dismiss them with words like:
 
That just doesn't feel true for me
I can't connect with that
That's not my experience
I don't understand how that could happen
 
 
Here's where you're off track:
 
A belief is just a thought that was repeated so often the neural pathway for it has been cemented.
Think of it like a well-worn track through the forest. 
It's easy to follow it, all the work is already done, it's probably scooped a little so if you get off it your bike naturally veers back into the centre...
 
But just because you have those particular neurons wired together, doesn't make the belief true...
 
SAY WHAT...
 
That's right. Just because you repeated something often enough that it got stuck, doesn't mean the statement was ever factually accurate.
 
A lot of people still think beliefs come from evidence. Obviously they don't, otherwise when confronted with new evidence, people would change their beliefs. 
I think facebook shows you often enough what really happens when people are confronted with new evidence... 😉
 
What's true is: Beliefs are strategic. We choose and stick to whatever helps us feel the most safe. Our nervous system is motivated to cling to whichever beliefs cause us to run our 'safest' autopilot settings.
 
BUT...
 
That means, if you keep all your existing beliefs, you'll keep recreating the same reality over and over again.
 
Do you actually want more money, more success, more time, more freedom, more love?
 
Because if the beliefs you run now haven't resulted in those things, then they clearly don't work, and it's time to create and cement new neural pathways. 
 
Not sure how? That's what coaching is for. 
 
Apply for a complimentary discovery call via sarahreillycoaching.com and let's see what it would take to get you the life and love of your dreams.
 
See you soon,
Sarah 😄
Today's thought:
 
It's great to be out in the mean facebook streets shouting about your cause.. But what does your own life look like in the background?
 
I see a lot of people with some major political preoccupations having massive, inappropriate, nasty arguments with friends and followers... when their own health, home environment and relationships are in the toilet.
 
Don't get it twisted, I'm not saying you have to have to be perfect to be an activist...
What I'm saying is that rage and panic-posting is a great distraction from the things you may be scared to go deep on in your own life.
 
An example: We know now that poor gut health is intimately linked to depression and mood instability. So if you're waving your triggers around online but your diet is horrific, you might want to log out for a bit and take care of yourself so that you can actually tune into *what you're really feeling*... not what your dysbiosis and parasites are feeling.
 
We also know that when people feel unsafe, their nervous system will reach for wherever it has found safety in the past, regardless of how appropriate or useful that particular coping mechanism is at this stage of their life.
So, the recommendation would be to examine your behaviour patterns and the 'emotional homes' you frequent, to see if they're still producing a healthy and desirable outcome.
 
We tend to be firm judges of others, and amazing lawyers for ourselves.
I will tell you from experience that switching that up from time to time is really eye-opening.
 
Feel free to share your experience with this in the comments x
Hey. I wanna tell you something really important.
 
When you make a big commitment to a new standard / way of being / level / version of yourself... it's likely that you'll first get a dose of 'universe university' (as I call it) to make sure you're truly ready for what's coming, and can handle it.
 
As many of you know, my business is currently undergoing a pretty massive overhaul, as my brand strategist and I work the kinks out of my messaging and how I want to offer my services.
In line with this, I've had to take a serious stand for who I am, what I represent, and what truths I think are valuable enough to warrant sharing.
 
This means that there is a whole 'lotta honesty coming in 2020.
 
In the past, I sat on the fence a lot. I disliked being trolled and yelled at online, and so I kept most of the really triggering stuff to myself.
But deep in my heart, I know that hiding triggering content isn't helping anyone, because triggers are the keys to the old coding that keeps us stuck.
They are literally the pathway to the wounds that control us until we heal them.
 
I am eternally grateful for my triggers and whilst it is incredibly uncomfortable to swim in them all the time 😉
...I have learned to love the sensation of my nervous system giving me priceless data that allows me to grow at the rate required to achieve my outlandish, audacious goals 🖤
 
So, very recently I made a firm mental commitment to come through 2020 more authentic than ever before.
And lo and behold... In rolled the triggers 🤣
 
In the last 24hrs alone, I have received 2 rounds of scathing feedback and been publicly scolded and branded 'dangerous' (go on - LOL with me...) for simply asking people their opinion on extremely disruptive content and daring to suggest that someone consider their nervous system important enough to actually listen to.
 
Young me would've been debilitated.
Today's me is exhilarated.
 
So here's the takeaway:
 
If you're gunna do the big scary thing, expect to be tested first.
Know what you're up against and commit to feeling all the feels but pushing through anyway.
 
Your resolve will be tested.
Your courage will be tested.
Your diligence will be tested.
 
And on the other side of the test... is everything you ever wanted.
 
If you're feeling brave about your biggest goals this week and you're ready to face your fears head on (so that you may see them for the holograms they are...), drop a HELL YEAH in the comments.
I'd love to celebrate everything YOU'RE dreaming of, coming to fruition as well 🖤
 
Forever in your corner,
Sarah xo
 
So you may have noticed your FB feed getting pretty hectic the last few months... 🤣
 
I can see many of you getting frustrated with your loved ones succumbing to fear-mongering or letting their uncertainty fuel formerly-latent racism.. 🤦‍♀️ So I want to offer a perspective that you might find interesting, and a few tools to test your own headspace.
 
Some people are still under the illusion that their environment creates or controls their emotions. If this is the case, then when they feel unsafe or destabilized (such as, during a global crisis..) they will look outside of themselves when attempting to re-create whatever state they perceive to be 'safe'.
 
This may involve arguing and trying to make people think or feel the same way as them. It may involve blaming and/or inciting violence towards those they feel are 'differen't.
It may involve temporarily setting aside their humanity in favour of reinstating the structures they previously leaned on.
 
But a more relevant expression right now, would be clinging to ideas or stories that make them feel like they're 'on the inside'.
When we feel like our world isn't making sense anymore; when we have had certain cornerstones of our routines removed (e.g. going to work), if we're not prepared to rediscover the inherent safety and resources within us, we are more prone to being manipulated by anyone who uses our fear against us.
All they have to do is bond with us on the level of our fear, and use the same phrases clickbait sites use to indicate that you're currently 'on the outside' but would be safe within the tribe, if you were allowed access to some covert info...
'You'll never believe what XYZ said about...'
'What the XYZ doesn't want you to know about...'
'Read this quick before it's taken down..!'
 
 
Whilst I'm not at all interested in telling you what to believe, specifically.. I think you would be doing yourself a fantastic service if you took a moment to look at where you're putting your attention right now, and asking yourself the following questions..:
 
'When I engage in this content, does it help me to remember that my power and safety is inherent, or does it continue the narrative that things outside of me must be different before I can feel safe again?'
 
"Is the content I'm watching peppered with contrived prompts to create fear, e.g. interspersing shocked faces between images, or using condescending or threatening tones or soundtracks?"
 
"How strong is my emotional commitment to my story? i.e. When people show me conflicting evidence, do I get angry or argumentative? When people disagree with me do I immediately divert to name calling or derision?"
(This indicates you have an emotional connection to a story, and should be suspicious to you. Why do you *need* your version to be 'right'? Examine your discomfort and the fear beneath it. What do you think it would mean if you were wrong? There is gold in your stories here - dig dig dig...)
 
'Do I myself, understand the thing I'm supposed to be afraid of, well enough that I could teach it, or at the very least explain it to different levels / demographics of audiences?'
(If you're not fully across what you should apparently be afraid of, it's possible that you've simply adopted a perspective without looking into it. Ask yourself 'why do I trust that particular source so blindly?')
 
And here's the big kahuna... How's your ego doing with these questions overall? Are you feeling compelled to 'school' me or anyone else in the comments section?
 
*Did you smirk at those questions but not actually apply them to any of the messages you're currently pushing?*
 
Did you feel affronted or dismissive of the idea that what people choose to believe is strategic and based on a need to re-create equilibrium / meet their survival needs, thereby questioning your narrative that you were one of the enlightened few with the 'real eyes, who realize the real lies...'? 😆
 
As uncomfortable as cognitive dissonance is, going into the triggers is the only way to get the information you need to grow and heal.
 
Be brave, humble and compassionate with yourself.
You got this. 🖤
 

 

Promoted
Is there anything in your life that you are currently or consistently angry about?
 
I'm finishing my Master Coach cert during this lockdown and we're discussing injustice in the group call today.
 
An interesting point was raised that I suspect everyone would benefit from knowing 🖤
 
💥Injustice is the result of someone turning their back 💥
 
What our lecturer meant by this is that injustice requires that one or many refuse to look at a case, a person, something important. Someone or something of value is being overlooked, forgotten, ignored.
 
Injustice happens when we turn away from that which needs our help, our focus, our attention or our efforts.
 
Have there been any injustices in your life?
Any injustices against you?
Are you still hanging onto them?
Are you still angry about them or focussed on them?
 
Well here's today's tough love:
 
If your vision is all over the thing that happened to you X number of years ago... Guess where it's not.
That's right - on all the injustices happening worldwide right now.
 
That's us, angry that someone turned their back, turning our back as well 🤯
 
Our survival system is very sneaky. It seeks warmth, food, water, shelter and conservation of energy (non-movement).
 
What facilitates non-movement (picture yourself on the couch with a snacky-snack) more effectively than anything else?
 
-Rumination on a problem in a different timezone, that therefore cannot be changed in the present,
-Fixation on a wrong perpetrated by someone we don't control,
-Intense focus on something we can blame another for, thereby relinquishing responsibility for changing it.
 
That's right folks, obsession with our own perceived victimization is a way to avoid expansion, growth, contribution and generosity.
 
It's generally understood that one of the hallmarks of depression is excessive focus on the self (now there's a sentence that needs a trigger warning YEE-HAW)
and therefore one psychological technique for moving people out of the patterns required to perpetuate the depression, is steering their focus out onto others. How they can help the less fortunate; how they can contribute to their community.
Shifting the focus shifts the emotions which shifts the chemistry and the resulting projected reality.
 
How are you shifting your focus from the stuff that slows you down to the stuff that changes the world this week?
 
 
***
 
 
SarahReillyCoaching.com
 
 

 

Those with empty cups are easily manipulated...

👁‍🗨

What I mean by that, is that those who create and perpetuate deficiencies within themselves.. of safety, of variety, significance etc... are easily sold to, because the space and the desperation are open targets.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with love, you will latch onto and self-betray for anyone who shows you the slightest amount of affection.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with significance, anyone who gives you focussed attention will have control of you.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with adventure, anyone who brings variety or difference will be able to lead you.

〰️

Survival Needs are not ‘nice to haves’ - they are non-negotiables that your system will get (come hell or high water) and wherever it finds them, it will create patterns (eg addiction) for.

〰️

So to say it another way..

If you do not want fear-mongering to affect or control you, regain safety within yourself.

If you don’t want to be at the beck and call of anyone who shows you the slightest bit of attention, regain your dignity via self-worth.

If you don’t want to be paranoid and debilitated by conspiracies, fill up your adventure and variety cup by doing the scariest thing of all: taking off your own layers, uncovering your soul, and living your purpose.
Hint: it likely has nothing to do with your current ‘job’.

〰️

And if you need help with any of this, get a coach. Elevating you beyond the base survival frequencies is what we’re here for 🖤

 

SarahReillyCoaching.com

Hey everyone! Just jumping on to clear up something that's been doing the rounds and I think being broadly misunderstood. I wrote a post a few days ago highlighting how the idea that you can't thrive and achieve through this period of time is ludicrous. Humans thrive in all manner of conditions and the idea that this is too much for us and we shouldn't even be expected to shower or manage our days during it is infantilizing at best.. 🙄
 
But I've noticed that the argument against capitalizing on this opportunity-filled time uses the word 'productivity' a lot and there's something really misleading in that.
 
The people suggesting that you see the gifts and the opportunities in this shut down are not suggesting that you 'be productive'..
The idea of productivity as a whole is deeply flawed and incredibly damaging if you look at it through the lens of internalized capitalism.
 
What we are suggesting (those of us who don't think you should use this time to clear your netflix queue and focus on your depression patterns) is that this forced shutdown, this epic, society-sized BOOT off the hamster wheel, is taking away a lot of your old distractions, and therefore giving you the time and discomfort needed to really LOOK at what you're doing with your life and why.
 
Example: If you used to say that you couldn't quit the job you hate because otherwise you'd be homeless... Well now, for many of you, that job you had categorized as the pillar of security is gone.
You have been forced to see that any time someone else decides what and how you earn, you're not actually safe at all.
1 redundant story gone, 12546 to go... 😉
 
I can see many people on facebook letting their ego speak for them. That is to say, they go ego-to-mouth without any curiosity or gates in between.
No time to say 'hang on a second... WHY do I believe that? That sounds an awful lot like my mother... Do I actually believe that or did I just absorb it?'
 
So those of us that recognize that there are gifts in this planet-wide reboot are not telling you to be productive. In fact, exactly the opposite. Stop producing for others, stop producing blindly, stop producing because it's something your parents told you to do.
Stop just producing at all, and sit with the discomfort around what you really want to do.
Examine all of your judgements around why you can't, why it doesn't make sense, why it's not possible.
And ask yourself 'if everything I believed before isn't currently working, what would I need to shift to, to come out of this not only alive... But thriving, healthy, wealthy, wise and excited about every aspect of my life?'
 
Our projected reality lines up with our standards.
Have a go at raising them and see what's reflected back.
 
🖤

Today’s PSA: stop skipping over the DECISION.
I thought I would do a live about this because it’s so close to my heart but I have a black eye from surgery 😂
Let me know if you’d like one post-recovery if this topic is of interest to you...

The DECISION ultimately controls everything. Because without a point of redirection, a new commitment (and the pain that typically precedes it...) we have no *reason* to do the hard thing e.g. a pattern-break, changing our thinking, make a difficult decision.

...

Let’s use a simple example.
I decide that the pain of my current physical state has hit a point of no return. I make the DECISION that from now on I will BE an athlete. I will know of myself as a healthy, fit, active person. I will embody the identity of someone who prioritized their well-being.

The next time I’m tempted to sleep through a workout or eat a poorly-chosen meal... I have a reason to rethink it. I have a reason to choose again. I have a reason to jump neural freeways and live in a different body and mindset long enough to create new neural connections.
I make practical, structural change to the foundations of who I think I am (and therefore the projected reality I get).

...

People rarely take the time to really decide. They say things like ‘ok yeah yeah I’ve decided. I decide I want a hot body. Of course I did - why would I decide otherwise?!’
Flippancy and the idea that humans would naturally seek what makes them happy (rather than ‘safe’) indicate fundamental misunderstandings around our survival-oriented nervous system.
***No you wouldn’t, no you didn’t, so no you can’t.***

...

The decision is the result of reaching a limit. Where the limit lies is up to you.
The decision precedes massive change.
What you change is up to you.

...

If you’re ready to stop saying you want it and actually get it...
You know where I am.

SarahReillyCoaching.com

It's amazing how far you can get through your layers and still find massive, septic bullets.
 
I am on the other side of literally years and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of deep work.
 
I am dozens of programmed codes deep; I am unrecognizable to the person I was in my 20s.
 
And yet yesterday (after a few days of catharsis-prep) I looked around my room and realized I was still running an autopilot setting that is dependent on 2 fundamental misunderstandings:
 
I'll never be good enough.
I'm not allowed to have/touch/enjoy anything.
 
Suddenly another handful of strands across my time/space imprint made total sense. 
 
The comparisonitis, the persistent dissatisfaction with my appearance, the post-purchase distancing I do with my most beloved items of clothing, the procrastination, the lack of focus in questionable areas...
 
All tied to something I thought I knew about, but hadn't released the exact wording for.
 
I'm curious.. What does your reflected world show you that you still believe? What part of you believes it? How did it serve you and how it is getting in the way now?
 
Major upside of SIP... It's giving us a lot more time to see and a lot less distraction from what we need to see... 😉
 
 
xoxo
S
I've been in the hospital.
 
***
 
So I missed a pattern this past week. For those of you that have experienced coaching - you'll know what I mean. 
A piece of childhood coding that was in a blindspot, steered me towards an undesirable outcome this week so that I could truly feel the impact of my old beliefs and finally release yet another that was holding me back.
 
A week ago, I came up in full body inflammation. Swelling, itching... I looked like I had severe chemical burns. The lumps, swelling and redness were migrating around my body by the hour, causing strange patterns, bruising, and limiting my mobility. 
I didn't think much of it because that was my reality for most of last year, until I realised I had quite a severe gluten allergy.
I assumed some of my food had been contaminated, popped an antihistamine and carried on with my work week.
 
But it didn't let up.
 
By Friday morning my occipital lymph nodes were so swollen I could barely turn my head. Parts of me were turning purple. I was being woken every morning at 4am on the dot with my skin on FIRE. 
Anywhere pressure was placed immediately swelled into hard lumps - some of the oedema was easily 2 inches deep. 
My housemate was practically apoplectic with rage at my blasé attitude - she had been hospitalised as a teen with the same thing because apparently it leads to anaphylactic shock. She almost died... And I wouldn't even take an hour to go to the GP.
 
'It's just shock' I laughed - my coaching business was super profitable last year and tax time is here. 'I'm just reeling from how much I'll be sending to the govt. in a few weeks.'
 
Writing this now... I am almost speechless at how cavalier I was with my health last week. 
 
I finally went to a GP yesterday morning, who unsurprisingly, sent me immediately to the emergency dept. at the hospital with a referral letter for an immunologist and a cortisone shot. (Incidentally, I received neither and am still in pain, but that's another story and not the point of this post.)
 
While I was in the waiting room, nursing a bruised arm from a comically bad multiple-attempt canula-insertion, my subconscious threw up an unpleasant memory. (Coding appears regularly now, because I've been doing my deprogramming work for so long.)
 
It was a picture of me, face down in the foetal position on the lounge room floor. I was 13, and I was literally screaming in pain. I had (probably - it was never treated) salmonella poisoning. I was unable to walk for 3 weeks and had likely been crawling to the bathroom when the pain hit. 
In between screams I could hear my mother and grandmother standing over me, discussing what to do.
 
"It might be a blockage."
"She probably needs an ambulance."
"Yeah but it's $75 now."
"Let's just see what happens."
 
I learned something important in that moment. 
 
Sarah doesn't get treatment. Sarah doesn't warrant help. Sarah isn't cared for.
 
Many of these things I already knew... But in that moment, screaming into the carpet in the worst pain of my life... Those truths were burned into my hollow, shaking little body.
 
They went in so securely, that the following year, when I split a bone so badly another bone slid down inside the vertical break, when I was told I wouldn't be taken to the hospital, I didn't even question it. I just strapped my hand up and carried on. 
I was eventually taken to a Dr, because I couldn't do most of my chores. He took out a protractor and measured the angle - "You have a 40 degree bend in this finger!" He exclaimed, and sent me straight for emergency surgery. On the way to the hospital, Grandad said it 'probably wasn't even broken' and that I was 'being a wuss'.
 
And last week, when my body was screaming in pain, what did I do? 
 
I followed the rules.
 
I laughed it off. I dismissed the idea of assistance. I kept working. I made jokes about using my hairbrush to reach hard-to-itch-while-still-in-bed areas, like the backs of my knees. 
 
This is why I say to clients:
"The problem isn't that you had a bad parent... The problem is that you ARE a bad parent."
 
It's not what they did to you then, that's messing up your life. It's the fact that you're copying them. 
You're abiding by the same rules. You're following the same protocol.
You're acting as though the way they did it, is the way it IS. 
 
When that coding was revealed to me in the waiting room I wanted to cry, but it seemed inappropriate given the level of suffering around me. So I just sat, watery-eyed, and stared into space until they called my name. 
I cried this morning though. I cried for the little girl who was left screaming on the floor.. and for the adult that I still, sometimes, leave screaming on the floor. 
 
But I made myself a promise, too.
 
That piece of coding is done now. 
 
Next time I need a Dr, I will fucking get one. 
 
And I hope the next time you need something, you fucking get it, too.
 
 
All my love,
Sarah
Do you know what the number one key to relationship success is?
 
Partner selection.
 
I know - anticlimactic, huh... Bet you were hoping it was some digital dealy you could buy online and maybe stick to the face of whoever you're currently dating...
 
But it's not. It's all in who you choose.
 
If you choose someone with misaligned values, or someone that is a trauma-bond rather than a soul-mate... you're going to have issues.
 
Similar situation with coaches.
 
I'm not a good match for most people, because I'm what's known as an 'amp'.
I can 'blow up' whatever will work to a level you've never seen or heard of before...
 
BUT...
 
Anything unstable, unsustainable or toxic won't survive the energy.
 
Shitty friendships don't survive my coaching containers.
Toxic relationships don't survive my coaching containers.
Old programming doesn't survive my coaching containers. 
Out of date coding doesn't survive my coaching containers.
Trauma bonds don't survive my coaching containers.
Inaccurate, limiting beliefs don't survive my coaching containers.
 
As many of you know, I rent space in a wellness centre in Sydney's inner west, so I have plenty of foot traffic past my office door. 
People see the sign that lists my services and frequently stop me to ask what words like 'subconscious reprogramming', and 'strategic intervention' mean.
 
Yesterday a lady in the waiting room told me she was afraid to do her deep work because she expected a lot of the people in her life wouldn't like the real her. She believed that if she processed and released the coping mechanisms that kept her tied to the current frequency, then she would be alone. 
 
I said to her - 'I can't promise any of your relationships would survive coaching, because I don't know how many of them are trauma-bonds, and how many are just you settling for what you think you can get, rather than what you are actually capable of receiving... But what I can tell you is that if you're not ready for a totally new projected reality, I am not the coach you should hire.'
 
Unfortunately, a lot of people I know are still hiring (and dating) based on what they think they can get, rather than what they actually want. 
 
If you hire a coach that is within your current comfort zone (e.g. a price point that doesn't affect you, abilities that don't make you nervous etc), you've moved sideways, rather than up. 
You've hired within your *current* perceived identity, rather than the version of you that you're trying to create.
Given that your manifestations are the product of who you're being, moving from who you are currently will just produce more of the same.
 
Thus, if you want to create something bigger, newer, bolder... MORE...
You are going to have to move differently.
 
What big decisions are you being called to make this week?
And have your decisions of late been aligned with what you can see right now, or what you want to see....
 
 
Forever in your corner,
Sarah xo
 
The world is changing.
 
If you are someone who conflated your environment and the landmarks / components therein (e.g. your job, your home, your spouse, your routine) with your safety, this is no doubt a challenging time.
 
Societal structures are being corrected to include the rights and validity of all.. Not just straight, white people.
 
Unsustainable work structures are collapsing so that new, generative, wellbeing-focussed options can take their place.
 
My interactions today reminded me of a favourite zen proverb: 'Let go or be dragged.'
 
Ultimately, what is cruel, unsustainable, environmentally destructive and unjust will be worked out of the system, because it is all indicative of a lower level of consciousness.
 
As we learn and grow, as we move more pain out of the shadow and into the light, as we expose more of what is in our blindspots... We are confronted with how much of our world is not intention but coping mechanism. How much is not thriving, but strategy. How much is not love, but manipulation. How much is not perspective, but panic.
 
And it's all on its way out.
 
If you had confused any of those structures with the cornerstones of your safety... If you are holding onto the belief that your ability to understand and control your world is at the core of your survival... This shift is going to hurt.
 
But the answer is not to go backwards. The answer is not to reject progress. The answer is not to resist the change.
 
The answer is to remember who you are.
The answer is to take back the power you placed in your projections.
The answer is to expand the parameters of your thinking, your perceived identity, and the rules you created for a different time.
 
You can't relieve the pain by scrambling to exert control over the machine...
You can only disable the engine.
 
The pain is within you because the pain is coming from you.
 
If you're ready to see beyond it, I'll be taking more coaching clients from July.
Sarahreillycoaching.com to apply.
 
BELIEFS ONLY STAY BELIEFS IF YOU KEEP CHOOSING THEM.
 
 
I had to bring this truth bomb to a private coaching session the other day and it was so resonant I figured I'd repurpose it, with some context. So here ya go! 
 
How often does the idea of things being 'better' come to your mind?
 
Money flowing more easily
Professional relationships vibing higher
Personal connections being more rewarding
Your energy levels being more consistent
 
And how often do you dismiss them with words like:
 
That just doesn't feel true for me
I can't connect with that
That's not my experience
I don't understand how that could happen
 
 
Here's where you're off track:
 
A belief is just a thought that was repeated so often the neural pathway for it has been cemented.
Think of it like a well-worn track through the forest. 
It's easy to follow it, all the work is already done, it's probably scooped a little so if you get off it your bike naturally veers back into the centre...
 
But just because you have those particular neurons wired together, doesn't make the belief true...
 
SAY WHAT...
 
That's right. Just because you repeated something often enough that it got stuck, doesn't mean the statement was ever factually accurate.
 
A lot of people still think beliefs come from evidence. Obviously they don't, otherwise when confronted with new evidence, people would change their beliefs. 
I think facebook shows you often enough what really happens when people are confronted with new evidence... 😉
 
What's true is: Beliefs are strategic. We choose and stick to whatever helps us feel the most safe. Our nervous system is motivated to cling to whichever beliefs cause us to run our 'safest' autopilot settings.
 
BUT...
 
That means, if you keep all your existing beliefs, you'll keep recreating the same reality over and over again.
 
Do you actually want more money, more success, more time, more freedom, more love?
 
Because if the beliefs you run now haven't resulted in those things, then they clearly don't work, and it's time to create and cement new neural pathways. 
 
Not sure how? That's what coaching is for. 
 
Apply for a complimentary discovery call via sarahreillycoaching.com and let's see what it would take to get you the life and love of your dreams.
 
See you soon,
Sarah 😄
Today's thought:
 
It's great to be out in the mean facebook streets shouting about your cause.. But what does your own life look like in the background?
 
I see a lot of people with some major political preoccupations having massive, inappropriate, nasty arguments with friends and followers... when their own health, home environment and relationships are in the toilet.
 
Don't get it twisted, I'm not saying you have to have to be perfect to be an activist...
What I'm saying is that rage and panic-posting is a great distraction from the things you may be scared to go deep on in your own life.
 
An example: We know now that poor gut health is intimately linked to depression and mood instability. So if you're waving your triggers around online but your diet is horrific, you might want to log out for a bit and take care of yourself so that you can actually tune into *what you're really feeling*... not what your dysbiosis and parasites are feeling.
 
We also know that when people feel unsafe, their nervous system will reach for wherever it has found safety in the past, regardless of how appropriate or useful that particular coping mechanism is at this stage of their life.
So, the recommendation would be to examine your behaviour patterns and the 'emotional homes' you frequent, to see if they're still producing a healthy and desirable outcome.
 
We tend to be firm judges of others, and amazing lawyers for ourselves.
I will tell you from experience that switching that up from time to time is really eye-opening.
 
Feel free to share your experience with this in the comments x
Hey. I wanna tell you something really important.
 
When you make a big commitment to a new standard / way of being / level / version of yourself... it's likely that you'll first get a dose of 'universe university' (as I call it) to make sure you're truly ready for what's coming, and can handle it.
 
As many of you know, my business is currently undergoing a pretty massive overhaul, as my brand strategist and I work the kinks out of my messaging and how I want to offer my services.
In line with this, I've had to take a serious stand for who I am, what I represent, and what truths I think are valuable enough to warrant sharing.
 
This means that there is a whole 'lotta honesty coming in 2020.
 
In the past, I sat on the fence a lot. I disliked being trolled and yelled at online, and so I kept most of the really triggering stuff to myself.
But deep in my heart, I know that hiding triggering content isn't helping anyone, because triggers are the keys to the old coding that keeps us stuck.
They are literally the pathway to the wounds that control us until we heal them.
 
I am eternally grateful for my triggers and whilst it is incredibly uncomfortable to swim in them all the time 😉
...I have learned to love the sensation of my nervous system giving me priceless data that allows me to grow at the rate required to achieve my outlandish, audacious goals 🖤
 
So, very recently I made a firm mental commitment to come through 2020 more authentic than ever before.
And lo and behold... In rolled the triggers 🤣
 
In the last 24hrs alone, I have received 2 rounds of scathing feedback and been publicly scolded and branded 'dangerous' (go on - LOL with me...) for simply asking people their opinion on extremely disruptive content and daring to suggest that someone consider their nervous system important enough to actually listen to.
 
Young me would've been debilitated.
Today's me is exhilarated.
 
So here's the takeaway:
 
If you're gunna do the big scary thing, expect to be tested first.
Know what you're up against and commit to feeling all the feels but pushing through anyway.
 
Your resolve will be tested.
Your courage will be tested.
Your diligence will be tested.
 
And on the other side of the test... is everything you ever wanted.
 
If you're feeling brave about your biggest goals this week and you're ready to face your fears head on (so that you may see them for the holograms they are...), drop a HELL YEAH in the comments.
I'd love to celebrate everything YOU'RE dreaming of, coming to fruition as well 🖤
 
Forever in your corner,
Sarah xo
 
So you may have noticed your FB feed getting pretty hectic the last few months... 🤣
 
I can see many of you getting frustrated with your loved ones succumbing to fear-mongering or letting their uncertainty fuel formerly-latent racism.. 🤦‍♀️ So I want to offer a perspective that you might find interesting, and a few tools to test your own headspace.
 
Some people are still under the illusion that their environment creates or controls their emotions. If this is the case, then when they feel unsafe or destabilized (such as, during a global crisis..) they will look outside of themselves when attempting to re-create whatever state they perceive to be 'safe'.
 
This may involve arguing and trying to make people think or feel the same way as them. It may involve blaming and/or inciting violence towards those they feel are 'differen't.
It may involve temporarily setting aside their humanity in favour of reinstating the structures they previously leaned on.
 
But a more relevant expression right now, would be clinging to ideas or stories that make them feel like they're 'on the inside'.
When we feel like our world isn't making sense anymore; when we have had certain cornerstones of our routines removed (e.g. going to work), if we're not prepared to rediscover the inherent safety and resources within us, we are more prone to being manipulated by anyone who uses our fear against us.
All they have to do is bond with us on the level of our fear, and use the same phrases clickbait sites use to indicate that you're currently 'on the outside' but would be safe within the tribe, if you were allowed access to some covert info...
'You'll never believe what XYZ said about...'
'What the XYZ doesn't want you to know about...'
'Read this quick before it's taken down..!'
 
 
Whilst I'm not at all interested in telling you what to believe, specifically.. I think you would be doing yourself a fantastic service if you took a moment to look at where you're putting your attention right now, and asking yourself the following questions..:
 
'When I engage in this content, does it help me to remember that my power and safety is inherent, or does it continue the narrative that things outside of me must be different before I can feel safe again?'
 
"Is the content I'm watching peppered with contrived prompts to create fear, e.g. interspersing shocked faces between images, or using condescending or threatening tones or soundtracks?"
 
"How strong is my emotional commitment to my story? i.e. When people show me conflicting evidence, do I get angry or argumentative? When people disagree with me do I immediately divert to name calling or derision?"
(This indicates you have an emotional connection to a story, and should be suspicious to you. Why do you *need* your version to be 'right'? Examine your discomfort and the fear beneath it. What do you think it would mean if you were wrong? There is gold in your stories here - dig dig dig...)
 
'Do I myself, understand the thing I'm supposed to be afraid of, well enough that I could teach it, or at the very least explain it to different levels / demographics of audiences?'
(If you're not fully across what you should apparently be afraid of, it's possible that you've simply adopted a perspective without looking into it. Ask yourself 'why do I trust that particular source so blindly?')
 
And here's the big kahuna... How's your ego doing with these questions overall? Are you feeling compelled to 'school' me or anyone else in the comments section?
 
*Did you smirk at those questions but not actually apply them to any of the messages you're currently pushing?*
 
Did you feel affronted or dismissive of the idea that what people choose to believe is strategic and based on a need to re-create equilibrium / meet their survival needs, thereby questioning your narrative that you were one of the enlightened few with the 'real eyes, who realize the real lies...'? 😆
 
As uncomfortable as cognitive dissonance is, going into the triggers is the only way to get the information you need to grow and heal.
 
Be brave, humble and compassionate with yourself.
You got this. 🖤
 

 

Promoted
Is there anything in your life that you are currently or consistently angry about?
 
I'm finishing my Master Coach cert during this lockdown and we're discussing injustice in the group call today.
 
An interesting point was raised that I suspect everyone would benefit from knowing 🖤
 
💥Injustice is the result of someone turning their back 💥
 
What our lecturer meant by this is that injustice requires that one or many refuse to look at a case, a person, something important. Someone or something of value is being overlooked, forgotten, ignored.
 
Injustice happens when we turn away from that which needs our help, our focus, our attention or our efforts.
 
Have there been any injustices in your life?
Any injustices against you?
Are you still hanging onto them?
Are you still angry about them or focussed on them?
 
Well here's today's tough love:
 
If your vision is all over the thing that happened to you X number of years ago... Guess where it's not.
That's right - on all the injustices happening worldwide right now.
 
That's us, angry that someone turned their back, turning our back as well 🤯
 
Our survival system is very sneaky. It seeks warmth, food, water, shelter and conservation of energy (non-movement).
 
What facilitates non-movement (picture yourself on the couch with a snacky-snack) more effectively than anything else?
 
-Rumination on a problem in a different timezone, that therefore cannot be changed in the present,
-Fixation on a wrong perpetrated by someone we don't control,
-Intense focus on something we can blame another for, thereby relinquishing responsibility for changing it.
 
That's right folks, obsession with our own perceived victimization is a way to avoid expansion, growth, contribution and generosity.
 
It's generally understood that one of the hallmarks of depression is excessive focus on the self (now there's a sentence that needs a trigger warning YEE-HAW)
and therefore one psychological technique for moving people out of the patterns required to perpetuate the depression, is steering their focus out onto others. How they can help the less fortunate; how they can contribute to their community.
Shifting the focus shifts the emotions which shifts the chemistry and the resulting projected reality.
 
How are you shifting your focus from the stuff that slows you down to the stuff that changes the world this week?
 
 
***
 
 
SarahReillyCoaching.com
 
 

 

Those with empty cups are easily manipulated...

👁‍🗨

What I mean by that, is that those who create and perpetuate deficiencies within themselves.. of safety, of variety, significance etc... are easily sold to, because the space and the desperation are open targets.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with love, you will latch onto and self-betray for anyone who shows you the slightest amount of affection.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with significance, anyone who gives you focussed attention will have control of you.

〰️

If you do not fill yourself up with adventure, anyone who brings variety or difference will be able to lead you.

〰️

Survival Needs are not ‘nice to haves’ - they are non-negotiables that your system will get (come hell or high water) and wherever it finds them, it will create patterns (eg addiction) for.

〰️

So to say it another way..

If you do not want fear-mongering to affect or control you, regain safety within yourself.

If you don’t want to be at the beck and call of anyone who shows you the slightest bit of attention, regain your dignity via self-worth.

If you don’t want to be paranoid and debilitated by conspiracies, fill up your adventure and variety cup by doing the scariest thing of all: taking off your own layers, uncovering your soul, and living your purpose.
Hint: it likely has nothing to do with your current ‘job’.

〰️

And if you need help with any of this, get a coach. Elevating you beyond the base survival frequencies is what we’re here for 🖤

 

SarahReillyCoaching.com

Hey everyone! Just jumping on to clear up something that's been doing the rounds and I think being broadly misunderstood. I wrote a post a few days ago highlighting how the idea that you can't thrive and achieve through this period of time is ludicrous. Humans thrive in all manner of conditions and the idea that this is too much for us and we shouldn't even be expected to shower or manage our days during it is infantilizing at best.. 🙄
 
But I've noticed that the argument against capitalizing on this opportunity-filled time uses the word 'productivity' a lot and there's something really misleading in that.
 
The people suggesting that you see the gifts and the opportunities in this shut down are not suggesting that you 'be productive'..
The idea of productivity as a whole is deeply flawed and incredibly damaging if you look at it through the lens of internalized capitalism.
 
What we are suggesting (those of us who don't think you should use this time to clear your netflix queue and focus on your depression patterns) is that this forced shutdown, this epic, society-sized BOOT off the hamster wheel, is taking away a lot of your old distractions, and therefore giving you the time and discomfort needed to really LOOK at what you're doing with your life and why.
 
Example: If you used to say that you couldn't quit the job you hate because otherwise you'd be homeless... Well now, for many of you, that job you had categorized as the pillar of security is gone.
You have been forced to see that any time someone else decides what and how you earn, you're not actually safe at all.
1 redundant story gone, 12546 to go... 😉
 
I can see many people on facebook letting their ego speak for them. That is to say, they go ego-to-mouth without any curiosity or gates in between.
No time to say 'hang on a second... WHY do I believe that? That sounds an awful lot like my mother... Do I actually believe that or did I just absorb it?'
 
So those of us that recognize that there are gifts in this planet-wide reboot are not telling you to be productive. In fact, exactly the opposite. Stop producing for others, stop producing blindly, stop producing because it's something your parents told you to do.
Stop just producing at all, and sit with the discomfort around what you really want to do.
Examine all of your judgements around why you can't, why it doesn't make sense, why it's not possible.
And ask yourself 'if everything I believed before isn't currently working, what would I need to shift to, to come out of this not only alive... But thriving, healthy, wealthy, wise and excited about every aspect of my life?'
 
Our projected reality lines up with our standards.
Have a go at raising them and see what's reflected back.
 
🖤

Today’s PSA: stop skipping over the DECISION.
I thought I would do a live about this because it’s so close to my heart but I have a black eye from surgery 😂
Let me know if you’d like one post-recovery if this topic is of interest to you...

The DECISION ultimately controls everything. Because without a point of redirection, a new commitment (and the pain that typically precedes it...) we have no *reason* to do the hard thing e.g. a pattern-break, changing our thinking, make a difficult decision.

...

Let’s use a simple example.
I decide that the pain of my current physical state has hit a point of no return. I make the DECISION that from now on I will BE an athlete. I will know of myself as a healthy, fit, active person. I will embody the identity of someone who prioritized their well-being.

The next time I’m tempted to sleep through a workout or eat a poorly-chosen meal... I have a reason to rethink it. I have a reason to choose again. I have a reason to jump neural freeways and live in a different body and mindset long enough to create new neural connections.
I make practical, structural change to the foundations of who I think I am (and therefore the projected reality I get).

...

People rarely take the time to really decide. They say things like ‘ok yeah yeah I’ve decided. I decide I want a hot body. Of course I did - why would I decide otherwise?!’
Flippancy and the idea that humans would naturally seek what makes them happy (rather than ‘safe’) indicate fundamental misunderstandings around our survival-oriented nervous system.
***No you wouldn’t, no you didn’t, so no you can’t.***

...

The decision is the result of reaching a limit. Where the limit lies is up to you.
The decision precedes massive change.
What you change is up to you.

...

If you’re ready to stop saying you want it and actually get it...
You know where I am.

SarahReillyCoaching.com

It's amazing how far you can get through your layers and still find massive, septic bullets.
 
I am on the other side of literally years and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of deep work.
 
I am dozens of programmed codes deep; I am unrecognizable to the person I was in my 20s.
 
And yet yesterday (after a few days of catharsis-prep) I looked around my room and realized I was still running an autopilot setting that is dependent on 2 fundamental misunderstandings:
 
I'll never be good enough.
I'm not allowed to have/touch/enjoy anything.
 
Suddenly another handful of strands across my time/space imprint made total sense. 
 
The comparisonitis, the persistent dissatisfaction with my appearance, the post-purchase distancing I do with my most beloved items of clothing, the procrastination, the lack of focus in questionable areas...
 
All tied to something I thought I knew about, but hadn't released the exact wording for.
 
I'm curious.. What does your reflected world show you that you still believe? What part of you believes it? How did it serve you and how it is getting in the way now?
 
Major upside of SIP... It's giving us a lot more time to see and a lot less distraction from what we need to see... 😉
 
 
xoxo
S
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